The Barrier
by inspired-looney
Summary: The effects of metamorphosis play heaving in both Sam and Jacks minds.


TITLE: The Barrier  
  
AUTHOR: Inspired_looney@ntlworld.com  
  
RATING: PG13, SJR  
  
SUMMARY: The effects of metamorphosis play heaving in both Sam and Jacks minds.  
  
SPOILERS: Metamorphosis  
  
DISCLAIMER: Don't own them, just playing  
  
STATUS: Complete.  
  
ARCHIVE: Anyone who wants it  
  
FEEDBACK: Lots and Lots and Lots of it, whether you like it or not, I still want it.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This just came to me while watching the episode and had to write it.  
  
'Oh My God!!!! I happened again! I can't believe I let that happen again! How could I? She nearly died and as per usual, it's all my fault'  
  
"Hey Sam, looks like your fine, I can't see any side effects of what happened, you seem completely normal." "Thanks Janet, don't mind telling you I was a little worried there for a while, if the Colonel hadn't gotten them to read her, I would have been dead" Sam was staring at her hands as she sat in the infirmary with Janet at her side. She was still shaking, still terrified there would be some terrible, irreversible side effect they couldn't see, but she knew she'd just have to wait and see. She had to pull herself together, there was something she had to do and it had to be now. She pulled herself together and looked up at Janet's worried face. "I'm fine Janet, really, I think I just need to get out of here for a while, get some air, clear my head, I'll see you later?" "Sure, you can stay at mine tonight if u don't fancy going home?" "Thanks, but I think I just need some space, I'll see you tomorrow" "Ok, well be sure and relax, no work, of any kind" "Ok, I promise, I'll go rent a movie or something" "Fine, night" "Night Janet" With those final words, Sam got up and walked out of the infirmary, instead of heading for the surface and home as she'd promised Janet, she headed up a few levels and straight to his quarters. She had seen the look on her face as they'd taken her away and when they brought her back. She knew what he was thinking and she had to tell him he was wrong. No matter what, she would never blame him.  
  
In his quarters, Jack was replaying the day's events over and over in his mind, thinking of ways he could have changed it. Sure the outcome worked out, as it usually does, but he would have given anything to be able to trade places with her. He was still mentally kicking himself when she knocked at his door. The quiet sound made him jump; shaking the silence that had enveloped him. He said nothing, hoping whoever it was would go away, he so didn't want to speak to anyone. But of course, it didn't go, but came again, more insistent this time, louder, but still he didn't answer. Outside Sam tried once more, knowing he was inside and guessing correctly he didn't want to deal with people, but he was going to have to deal with her, she was not about to let him wallow in this when he did nothing wrong.  
  
When he didn't answer her third knock she tried the handle and was surprised when it just opened. He jumped at the unexpected sound, he had never guessed his intruder would be bold enough to just enter without being invited. He was about to reprimand his unexpected guest, when his eyes caught hers and he was lost for words. "You know, for someone, I'm guessing who wants to be left alone, it would be a good idea to lock the door??" She said with a smile on her lips. She could see the pained look in his eyes as he watched her close the door behind her. "You know, when you don't answer the door, it's usually a good enough sign around here that you're busy." He replied, half jokingly as he sat back down. "Yeah well I know what you are busy doing and I'm here to stop you." She walked over to him and sat beside him, he didn't turn to face her, she was too close and alarm bells were ringing. She looked right at him, unafraid of their close proximity. She was suddenly calm as she sat there; all the worries about what had happened flooded from her. She just wanted him to know that it was all right. That she was all right and for the first time that day, she actually felt like she would survive this. But as usual, her strength was coming from him, he would hold her together and she him together, even if it couldn't yet be literal.  
  
"It wasn't your fault" She said it so calmly, with a voice so full of emotion, he had to look at her, to see if she really meant it or if she was just saying it for his benefit. Her eyes were like her voice, raw with the emotion she felt for him, it was too much for him, he hated their lives, he hated the rules, and about the only thing he didn't hate at that moment was her. He stayed silent and had to look away from her before his emotions overwhelmed him. "I don't blame you, I could never blame you" she said slowly as her arm extended and her hand connected with his cheek, pulling his face back up to see hers. "I know what you were thinking back there, remembering!" He looked into her eyes, puzzled, she couldn't possibly know he was remembering that, the last time they had been separated by a barrier and he couldn't help her, couldn't save her and nearly gave his life trying. There was no way she could know that was what he was thinking; yet it seems that she does know that. He still couldn't find any words to express himself to her so he again tried to look away, but she brought her other hand up and held his face firmly in place. "I know you were remembering the last time, the last time you couldn't save me because a of a barrier between us, you know how I know? Well, Jack O'Neill, I know you, you can't hide from me, your thoughts your feelings, anything. You may be able to fool Jonas, maybe even Teal'C on occasion, but never me." His eyes widened in surprise, not only at the use of his name, or what she had said, it was the way she said it, low and sultry, more like an intimate lover than a second in command. He couldn't look away; her hands wouldn't let him. The proximity was becoming an issue; he could feel his body responding, even if his brain was screaming at it to stop. He could feel the familiar feeling in his stomach as both their breading increased. His hands were starting to fidget at his sides, desperate to touch her. He knew he couldn't last much longer, he had to get away, not be so close. His brain was telling his body to move, but it had a mind of its own. The hands moved up, touching hers on his face, sliding up her slender arms, down over the shoulders and landing on her delicate waist. While his hands were roaming, he face was pulling closer to her. She smiled one of her million dollar smiles and their lips met. The first kiss, well that they both would remember and wasn't the effect of some alien drug. It was everything a first kiss should be, soft and tender, yet full of the passion they shared. He pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss. Held her body snug against his. They were both lost in the kiss, everything else fading into the background. The events of the day, the fears they both had, nothing mattered, except the kiss. As the kiss came to an end, both felt bereaved at its loss, but knew this wasn't the time or the place to pursue this. Jack looked down at the woman next to him and pulled her into his embrace. She gladly reciprocated, sliding her arms around his shoulders and holding him tight. It was then, for the first time that night he found his voice. "It should have been me!" he said sounding scared and meek and not at all like the Jack O'Neill everyone else knew, but Sam, no, she knew that side of him, she was happy when he showed it, even if what he thought wasn't true. "I know that feeling, I was like that the whole time you were on that moon last month. I kept thinking I should have done this or I could have done that, that it should have been me on that planet and not you. Its what happens when you care about someone, you always want to protect them and wish that bad things never happened to them, but in our job, we just have to accept it and move on. It's happened, we can't dwell on it or we'll never get the job done. We've been here before, we'll be here again, what else can we do?" "Nothing I guess, I just hate seeing you hurt, watching you suffer." "And I you, that doesn't change" "I guess, I always know though, whenever I'm in trouble, you'll come through for me, you'll figure it out and find a way to save me." "And I you, you saved me today, you got them to turn against her, I could never have done that." "Well then" he said with a lopsided grin on his face "I guess we're stuck as we are for the moment, I'll watch your six, you'll watch mine and we'll go on pretending we don't care." "Well maybe, just for tonight, we can skip that last part?" She replied with a smile on her lips as she leaned in and kissed him once more. 


End file.
